Friday Fun – Creative Tortures

Well, last week’s challenge threw up some interesting options. It also lent weight to the idea that a number of you have deep psychological issues and quite a bit of pent up anger, bitterness and frustration. I loved it!

The top three suggestions for who to lock up for crimes against humanity are as follows:

3rd place – Susie for suggesting George Lucas after the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney because… of what might happen! She wants him locked up for a crime yet to be committed! How ultra liberal of you!

2nd place – Kate for suggesting Paul McCartney for his crime of Wings. Completely justified and I admire your restraint for not listing his other crimes such as the Frog Chorus and Pipes of Peace!

1st place – Dulcie for suggesting her own daughter for the crime of making her the mother of a teenager. So Dulcie wants to lock up her daughter for something that was entirely Dulcie’s fault! Kudos!

As it was so much fun picking at your delicate psyches, I’d like to continue in the same vein this week. What would you do to them once you have locked them up? I want your creative tortures!

In The Men Who Stare at Goats, the western allies in the Iraq war are accused of torturing prisoners by playing Barney on an eternal loop. But you can do better than that! Come on, what would you do?

Would you lock someone in a room with only Dan Brown books to read?

Would you play continuous musical theatre numbers?

Or would show the Jeremy Kyle show back to back forever? Actually, that might make your prisoner realise there are people worse off in the world!

So, Friday Funners, there’s your challenge – how would you torture your prisoner? (How Smashie and Nicey was that?)

By the way, this is not just restricted to or an extension of last week’s efforts. Let’s have some new stuff too! For example, if you were to lock up a rugby player would you torture them by showing them unending footage of footballers diving and feigning injury?

Creative tortures people – let’s have ’em!

Away you go! Take part! Get involved!

And share the fun!


Friday Fun – Who would you lock up?

Some great efforts last week and I think it was a draw for joint second place with Elaine & David both providing pretty comprehensive soundtracks to all their activities! However, the clear winner was Kevin with Eye of the Tiger when exercising! Spot on with that one!

For this week’s challenge, you need to let us know who you would lock up forever for crimes against humanity. Here are a few to get you started:

Dan Brown until he learns to write decent prose;

Simon Cowell for X Factor and other crimes;

Steven Spielberg & George Lucas for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull;

and finally, Miley Cyrus for being Miley Cyrus!

Away you go! Take part! Get involved!


Friday Fun – Your Soundtrack to Your Life!

Does everyone walk along with their own soundtrack playing in their head? And are all the songs from the 80s?

Like when you’re at work are you singing along with Freddie Mercury to I Want to Break Free? Or maybe it’s Dolly Parton’s Nine to Five?

When you open the curtains to a beautiful sunny morning and blue sky, does Bill Withers sing Lovely Day or do you join Katrina & The Waves in Walking on Sunshine?

And what about when you’re strolling down the street checking out your reflection in shop windows, do you hum Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees or 500 Miles by the Proclaimers?

That’s the challenge for this week’s Friday Fun: Take a few minutes out of your day and share your own personal soundtrack with us – songs and scenarios!

By the way, apologies for the absence of Friday Fun over the last couple of weeks.

I must say there were some cracking efforts last time round and a couple of special mentions are completely deserved:

Triona McBride with ‘A Winning Irish Football Team’ as a mythical creature! Alas, it’s true!

David Wardle’s ‘Goblin Kong’ managed to somehow replace one mythical creature with another, (although that might be a stretch for King Kong), whilst also sounding like a porno!

Finally, Sean Flood’s ‘Brian that is called Brian’, managed to miss both points of the exercise and yet underline the whole myth of ‘Brian’ at the same time!

Anyhow, winning entries to the Royal Substitutes are as follows:

3rd place – Kevin Burles with The Frog Gruffalo;

2nd Place – JP Griffin with The Last Nac Mac Feegle of Scotland;

1st Place – David Wardle with The Griffin Diaries!

Well done, David – clearly using my name was a winner!

Right, off you go! Get cracking on your soundtracks!

Have fun! Take part! Get involved!

The Healthy Debate – Third World Britain

We have a new plan! Hurrah! Let’s make people on long term unemployment work for their benefit. Good plan! Stop this whole something for nothing culture. This sense of entitlement. This lazy cancer in society.

Soon those claiming the dole will be picking up litter and cooking meals for the elderly to qualify for their benefit. They’ll feel more empowered and gain pride in their place in society.

Also it will be a huge saving as they will replace those being paid to do the jobs already.

Ah! Right, hang on a sec. Anyone else spot the flaw in this plan?

As Christopher Lloyd’s Doc Brown would say: ‘If my calculations are correct, when this plan is enacted you’re going to see some serious shit!’

So, the Chancellor’s master plan will see unemployment figures rise and then those joining the dole queues will be forced to do the jobs they were already doing for less money! Great plan!

Following on from other Osborne policies such as the Bedroom Tax, this is yet another squeeze on the less well off. On the flip side he has already lowered the top rate of income tax from 50% to 45% on earnings over £150,000, in order to give top earners a tax break.

This government is trying to nurture growth, but it’s not the kind of growth most people want to see. They’re nurturing the growth of the gap between rich and poor in the UK.

When a gap this size is exposed in third world countries, our media tend to sneer and scoff at the corruption and hopelessness of the situation. Our politicians rant about forcing change in the regime, probably to deflect attention away from their own failings. The rest of us make useless gestures. We shake our heads and tut and then get on with our own lives, safe in the knowledge that any sort of action or revolution won’t affect us. And for that we should be ashamed.

This is different though. This is on our doorstep. This is in our country. We are creating a third world nation right here in the UK and it’s time we stopped. Or the riots of 2011 will seem like a tea party.